Nobody was locked in a cathedral
& they burnt it down
because of staples, because of expired tubs
of yoghurt, because of five kinds of Mountain Dew
They filled his boots
with crispy wraiths
because of chocolate gum, because of
canned ham, because of styrofoam peanuts
They removed his head
& installed an LED sunlamp
because of chilblains, because of Sea Monkeys,
because of Greatest Hits
They bound his feet
with caution tape
because of jam bands, because of breadsticks,
because of bedbugs
They filled his shelves
with cantaloupes & weevils
because of liverwurst, because of xmas
episodes, because of candlepins
They blinded his eyes
with a million hairpins
because of bulbous, because of slobber,
because of jowls
They dissed his bowels
& flushed his buttons
because of Einstein, because
of Palestine, because of Target gift cards
Nobody felt worse
than they did
when they tased him, when
he amazed them by
vacantly gaping, when he
gave them a taste of his
copious tears & then they
knew
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